I’ve got a new word for the English vernacular that I plan on submitting soon to Webster’s. It’s called “Sabanizing.” Here’s how it works: Every Monday, in his Monday press conference, Nick Saban starts “Sabanizing” on how reporters should have written their stories. After the Ole Miss loss, the “Great One” was “Sabanizing” the media on how in the weeks prior, they weren’t listening to him talking about penalties and turnovers, only talking about the big plays from the Florida game along with the stats the team posted in its 42-21 victory over the Gators. He wanted the press to talk more about those miscues, but when they happened against Ole Miss then Arkansas, he was “ticked off” (not his words exactly-he didn’t keep it family material). He was upset that the media wasn’t glorifying the team for their “relentless” effort. An Alabama beat writer asked him about all the mistakes. He started going off on how his team played their hearts out and that’s what the media should write. This Nazification of the press reminds me of the Nazification of the Alabama student section, where students, if they leave in the fourth quarter of a scintillating 48-7 blowout of Florida Atlantic, will be more or less apprehended by campus security, taken into custody, and put into a campus security  jail cell overnight where they will be subjected to all night highlights of the Dubose years, and for their 2:30 AM Waffle House feeding, they’ll get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and one of Saban’s  Cokes that sits on his podium during media “enhancement” sessions. Nothing like college life at the ol’ ball yard.

But back to the Politburo press conferences. For “Der Fuhrer’s” edification, there was this little document written and signed back in 1787 by men who were not nearly as smart as the Great One, but they tried. Guys like Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, John Adams and Benjamin Fraklin. They were “OK” in the intelligence quotient measurement; like off the charts smart. They wrote this little pamphlet called the “Constitution.” The first amendment of the Constitution, states:  The First Amendment prohibits Congress from obstructing the exercise of certain individual freedoms: freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly, and freedom of petition.  I see one of these freedoms prohibits Congress from obstructing freedom of the press. But I guess the Great One doesn’t have to qualify under the law of the land. He’s above that, allegedly. “Der Fuhrer” has spoken! It’s gospel. That’s a crock.

So if the Alabama beat writers are writing that the team is not living up to Saban’s beloved “standard,” then they shouldn’t be writing anything in the sports pages according to the Great One. Looks like Saban’s standards right now on the football field are penalties and turnovers. His team is struggling and the guy’s furious; I get that. But for him to berate the media every Monday,  telling them what they should and shouldn’t write, is over the  line. He does it every week; without fail. Maybe his football team is not a democracy when it comes to who’s in charge, but this Nazification does not work when it comes to how he interacts with the press. It’s OK to be ticked off at your team. But it’s not the press’s fault his players are not performing. Maybe the players aren’t good enough right now. I’m sure they’re working hard. Blake Sims has digressed in the past two weeks. The offensive line has fallen off some after a good  start, and the running backs have been below average. The defense is not getting much done either. They can still have a good season. If you’ve followed the last five recruiting classes, these guys ought to be able to win out. But they’re not performing. And the Great One wants to blame it on the press. Maybe he ought to dig a little deeper at what’s he’s doing and see if that can be adjusted rather than going off on the media every Monday. It’s getting a little tiresome really.

On the Ryder Cup. The U.S. has put together a “task force” to try to figure out why we can’t beat the Europeans every two years. That’s fine. I hear Eldrick is part of the group. Here’s what Eldrick might suggest: “Hey, what about this: how about we put Hooter’s girls on each guys’ bag. That’ll inspire our guys and throw the Euros off their game. I know I’d love it. I talked to 15, 20, 25, a hundred, whatever the number of girls I had brief relationships with while Elin and I were  having issues, and they, to a bimbo, think it’s a great idea. Guys?

The solution to this American team fiasco is work harder American players. Stop blaming it on other people and stop whining, Phil, about not getting coached up properly. Get on the range, the chipping green and the putting green without your swing coach, your short game guru, your sports psychologist, your personal trainer, your massage therapist, AND, just as importantly, your agent, and figure it out. Make some sacrifices. Figure it out on your own. What are people supposed to do hold your hand and tell you how to win, PHIL? Grow up man;  get to work. We need young, hungry guys who want to win and who know they can win facing the likes of Rory, Poulter, Kaymer and Rose. Jordan Spieth and Patrick Reed are two good ones to start with. In my opinion, we should do away with the points/standings system in place now and let the captain pick the 12 best golfers on the PGA tour without any stipulations. Maybe then we’d field a team that’s committed to winning it. In the meantime, players who want to be on the team in 2016 at Hazeltine Golf Club in Chaska, Minnesota need to get to work in practice and play as much as possible starting right now as the first month of the new season has commenced. And it’s not a mandate that Paul Azinger has to be the captain. There are plenty of good choices. The players just need to shut up with this whining and get to work and whomever their captain is, they just need to listen to him and do their jobs.

Final thought: Todd Gurley is a clown story at Georgia; Jameis Winston an even bigger clown story at FSU, though with some extremely serious allegations leveled against him; and Jimbo Fisher is the biggest enabler south of Barrack Obama.

With all that said, here are this week’s picks:

Last week: 12-7; Overall: 65-32 (67%)

Alabama 42, Texas A&M 28

2:30 PM CT/3:30 ET, CBS

Ole Miss 41, Tennessee 24

6 PM CT/7 ET, ESPN

Georgia 34, Arkansas 28

3 PM CT/4 ET, SEC Network

LSU 35, Kentucky 24

6:30 PM CT/7:30 ET, SEC Network

Florida 31, Missouri 24

6 PM CT/7 ET, ESPN2

South Carolina 48, Furman 7

11 AM CT/Noon ET, SEC Network

UAB 37, Middle Tennessee 34

2:30 PM CT/ 3:30 ET,  Fox College Sports-FCS (channel 617, 623 or 626 on satellite; not sure about Charter)

Florida State 38, Notre Dame 31

7 PM CT/8PM ET, ABC

Oklahoma 38, Kansas State 35

11 AM CT/Noon ET, ESPN

Baylor 45, West Virginia 34

11 AM CT/Noon ET, FOX Sports 1

Michigan State 41, Indiana 24

2:30 PM CT/3:30 ET, ESPN

‘Zona State 28, Stanford 24

9:30 PM CT/10:30 ET, ESPN

Oregon 44, Washington 20

7 PM CT/ 8 ET, FOX Sports 1

Nebraska 31, Northwestern 28

6:30 PM CT/7:30 ET, Big Ten Network

UCLA 45, Cal 41

2:30 PM CT/3:30 ET, ESPN2 or ABC

Clemson 31, Boston College 28

2:30 PM CT/3:30 ET ESPNU

Tonight:

Utah 31, Oregon State 28

9 PM CT/10 ET, Pac-12 Network

TCU 38, Oklahoma State 35

3  PM CT/ 4 PM ET, FOX  Sports 1