(The next Auburn coach?)
 

Jimmy Rane calls Bobby Petrino and conferences in Pat Dye and Bobby Lowder.

“Hello.”

“Bobby, it’s Jimmy here down at Auburn.”

Petrino: “Hey, Jimmy, what’s up?”

Yella Wood: Well, you may know why I’m calling Bobby. What you been up to.”

Petrino: “Just got off a ride with a couple of coeds down at Arkansas State. Gus set me up pretty good down there, but as Larry said a while back, ‘Keep it down home Cuz.’ “

Wood: “Just a couple of dadgum steaks and that kid reported us to that 60 minutes program!. But that’s for another time. BIg Boy, I’ve got Pat and Bobby conferenced in with us.”

Dye: Hey Bobby, good to talk with you. You hangin in there?”

Petrino: Yeah Pat I’m good. Ready to get back in the business though.”

Lowder: “Well young man, we’ve got a little proposition for you. We want you to be our next coach.”

Petrino: What about Chiz? He’s such a stellar coach? (Laughter).

Dye: Yeah, I told ol’ Finebaum that we really love him that he’s our coach forever. Wanted to pull a fast one over on him and his listeners. You know that Finebaum, he’s got a lot of power so I’ve got to use him when I need  to.”

Lowder:”Bobby, we’re ready  to win and kick some Saban backside. I’ve had enough of this and I speak for Pat, Jimmy and the rest of the family.”

Yella: “Milton’s in too, but he’s got to take care of that Strange character in Montgomery. He’s been greasin some palms around the state though. You know ol’ Milton. He knows how to get things done. Glad we got rid of that Gilley canary.”

Dye: “Bobby, we want you on board. Players will be no problem. Got some ministers in Georgia who have some five star sons. One’s a quarterback. They’ll get some care packages if you know what I mean.”

Petrino: “That’s what I need to hear. I need that commitment. I would say I’m glad y’all are all in, but I don’t want to refer to that guy who loses all the time.”

Dye: “We don’t either. Man, Bobby, if I was 10 years younger I’d come in and be your defensive coordinator. Now we’d win some championships. But we can buy some coaches. That won’t be any problem. Just gotta get rid of this guy and his lunatic wife.”

Lowder: “I think she handles snakes in Sand Mountain. Got to with some of those comments.”

Dye: Wish I could put a couple rattlers from my farm in her mailbox. That’d shut her up.”

Petrino: So when are y’all comin up?

Lowder: “Jet touches down in Little Rock at 11 hundred. Need you there Bobby.”

Yella: “Got some stock options in my company, Bobby. You can do some cowboy commercials with me in the summer that we’ll put out in the farm. Got some real good ideas on that.”

Petrino: “What about coeds?”

Dye: “Got you covered hoss.”

Petrino: “OK, I’m interested. What about money.”

Lowder: Don’t you worry about that big boy. We’ll have you well covered. There’s a cheerleader or two we’ve already talked to as well. So you’re good in that department.”

Petrino: “When can I start?”

Dye: “We’ll get all in, all-out after the season and you can take right over.”

Yella: “We’ll get you close to some Tuscaloosa numbers in that contract, hoss, and once you start beating that boy from Tuscaloosa, we’ll pay you more than him.”

Petrino: “I’m in.”

Lowder: “OK, the three of us will be there tomorrow. We’re making sure Gogue and Jacobs don’t know about this. They think they’re going to decide this, but we’ve already decided and they’ll be forced to go along.”

Petrino: “I’m good.”

Dye: “OK, we’ll be there at wha, Bobby 15 hundred?”

Lowder: “Pat I just said 11 hundred.”

Dye: “Oh, I was just fiddlin with my Finebaum show. Got him on the other line. Trying to do two things at once.”

Yella: “So it’s a deal, Bobby?”

Bobby: “Jimmy  (Sexton) and I will see you in the morning.”

Lowder: “We’ll be there big boy. Welcome to the family.”

Dye: “You’ll have your players, Bobby. You just gotta win. None of this 8-5 stuff, that we’ve been getting lately. Tired of that. Looks like 2-10 this year. That’s not going to happen with you is it?”

Petrino: “I’ll get it done.”

Yella: “That’s all I ask, big boy, just get’er done.”

Lowder: “OK, hoss, tomorrow at 11.”

Petrino: “You got it.”

 (A.J. McCarron)
Everything worked fine for the Tide. No issues. Everything clicking well. Running game was fantastic. Missouri not great on defense, but still excellent numbers by Eddie Lacy and T.J. Yeldon. Lacy went for 177 and three TDs and Yeldon 144 and two TDs. A couple of those TD runs, one by Lacy, and one by Yeldon, were pretty dramatic. Lacy’s 73-yarder on what, the third play of scrimmage, was beautiful. Yeldon’s 15-yarder in which he dove from the four yard line to get the ball just inside the pylon, looked like as good as the best back in the NFL could do. It was a clinic. The only two blemishes were the lightning storm and A.J. McCarron hurting his knee. But McCarron is fine. Just a bruised knee.

C.J. Mosley played a terrific game with 12 tackles. Vinnie Sunseri had another interception. It was his second of the season, but it seems like he has more because he’s always around the football. Great football player. Blake Sims had another int and had a beautiful 36-yard run at quarterback. Mosley, Ed Stinson and Adrian Hubbard each had sacks. A.J. was 16-of-21 for 171 yards and no ints. For the season, he’s 89-of-132 (67%) for 1,170 yards with 12 TDs and no ints. I don’t know this stat for sure, but at some point Saturday he had thrown 177 passes without an interception. That’s spectacular. He hasn’t thrown one since last November (2011). Part of it is a fantastic offensive line that keeps him off the turf and part of it is his talent. This offense just really works for him. He’s a lot more than a game manager. He’s a winner.

So what else is there to say as far as superlatives go? I know the Tide is unanimous No.1 in the AP poll, on top of the BCS and on top of  the coaches poll. Tennessee this Saturday at 6 PM CT on ESPN. Just have to stay humble, work hard and guard against complacency. Looks like the best team in the country to me. Tennessee should be fine if Tide plays up to their ability. State is becoming more interesting and LSU got more interesting Saturday Night, but Tide better than both those teams, who they play after Tennessee; State at home, LSU in Death Valley for a 7 PM kickoff, Nov.3 on CBS. But it’s a week at a time proposition. S has got to be happy with what he saw on Saturday. Missouri is a decent team with a healthy James Franklin at quarterback and an offensive line not riddled with injuries, but without him and a competent line, they’re not that swift. But the Tide played very well and looked dominant. They’re cruising right along.

AU is a Titanic-like disaster. It’s just not getting any better. Clint Moseley is not the answer now or in the future, but who do you turn to? The coaches have destroyed Kiehl Frazier’s confidence now. He’s probably not going to get any better this year. Heard he may have a hurt arm. Moseley was OK in the first half, but went back to the Clint Moseley we’ve come to expect in the second half. Threw the game clinching interception to Ole Miss. Auburn at its lowest point since the Terry Bowden years and late in Tuberville’s career. Gene Chizik has lost his team. His 2010 team was an aberration for him. He’s just not a very good coach. His wife, Jonna, getting on Facebook and saying some garbage religious thoughts as they pertain to football was, I don’t know, what was that? Kind of sounded like she’s goes to one of those churches that handles snakes and she’s got a few between her ears. But she and her husband are desperate. It’s kind of sad really. Not much to say. Vanderbilt Saturday at 11:21 on SEC Network and Vandy is a seven point favorite.

LSU’s victory over South Carolina puts them back in the West race and I guess in the national picture. But LSU doesn’t look like anything special to me. They’ve got a lot of great athletes, but they don’t look too special at all on offense. Their passing game is not very good. Their freshman running back, Jeremy Hill, is good, but if you stop their running game like Florida did, you can stop their attack. Defense pretty good, but Connor Shaw threw it right to them on that interception to Eric Reid and gave them the game. I’m not convinced LSU is anything special. Still don’t trust Miles as a coach totally. They’ll be jacked up for the Tide if they can get through Texas A&M this Saturday at 11 AM on ESPN. There’s no guarantee there. They should beat A&M, but they’re not great. South Carolina was the better team talent-wise. Thought Spurrier should have not been throwing it so much when he had the lead. Connor Shaw is a hard working, solid player, but not a great passer. South Carolina just can’t seem to get over the hump and get through a season flawless. They go to Florida this Saturday at 2:30 PM  CT on CBS.

Florida looks pretty good and I guess you can’t count Georgia out in the East. SC-Florida should be a classic this Saturday. Kind of like the Gators at this point. Should be an excellent game.

Mississippi State looks pretty good. They’ve still got to go to LSU and ‘Bama. Don’t think they’re good enough to win at those places, but they’ve got a solid football team. Dan Mullen is doing an excellent job in Starkville.

On the national scene, Notre Dame knocked off Stanford in overtime on a very controversial call. Stanford running back Stepfan Taylor looked like he got the ball across the end zone line on fourth and goal to score and tie the game in the first overtime, but the side judge ruled he was short. On review it looked like Taylor got the ball across. It was a bad break for Stanford and very lucky for the Irish. I don’t think Notre Dame is great, but they’re pretty good. Still got some work left. Play BYU this weekend at home, which is no bargain, then go to Oklahoma. Also have to go to USC on Nov. 24. If they can navigate those waters and come out undefeated, they should have a good shot at playing for the national championship in January. I don’t think they can make it through their schedule though.

West Virginia got clobbered by Texas Tech and Tuberville and were exposed. Geno Smith’s Heisman train has been derailed. How about Texas? They lost 63-21 to OU in the Red River Rivalry on Saturday after losing the week before to West Virginia, 48-45. Mack Brown stole Miss State defensive coordinator Manny Diaz a couple of years ago and how’s that working out for you Mack? I bet Texas fans are wishing he had retired two years ago and Will Muschamp had taken over. Florida back in the national championship hunt and Texas has taken a nose dive the last three years. Brown’s days may start being numbered. I know he’s done a good job there until recently and won a national title in 2005 and took them to the national title game in 2009 against the Tide, but it’s been disastrous since then. He keeps firing coaches, but at some point the buck stops at the top. Texas fans’ patience has got to be running thin.

Florida looks like a contender. Got to get by South Carolina this Saturday, but they’ve got a very good shot. They play good defense and their quarterback is a dynamic runner; kind of Cam-like really. Quarterback Jeff Driskel is a player. Ran for 177 yards against Vanderbilt on Saturday Night. Not a terrific passer yet by any means, but really gets the job done. Florida is not as good as Alabama, but they may be the best team in the East. South Carolina will tell us a lot.

K-State just keeps getting it done. They aren’t in Alabama’s class as far as talent, but they’re a pretty good football team. Go to West Virginia this weekend in a huge national game for them at 6 PM CT on Fox, Saturday. If they can get through that, they will really be in the discussion for the big game. If they can get by West Virginia, which will be tough, they play Texas Tech, Ok State and Texas at home and TCU and Baylor on the road. if their quarterback stays healthy, they have a shot to run the table. This weekend will let us know if K-State is in the discussion for the title game.

Ohio State still playing well. They aren’t going to a bowl game this year because of NCAA sanctions, but Urb has them playing well. Think they’re like a lot of teams this year. Pretty good, not great.

I keep forgetting about Oregon. Certainly right there. Have to play at USC (Nov.3), have Stanford at home (Nov.17) and at Oregon State (11-24), so they’ve got a lot of work left. Exciting, electric football team with the world class running back speed of De’Anthony Thomas and Kenjon Barner, but still don’t think they’re physical enough on the lines of scrimmage for Alabama, Florida or LSU. Still not convinced of that. Play 5-1 Arizona State this Thursday at 8 PM CT on ESPN. Could be pretty interesting there.

Louisville still undefeated so they’re not out of it. Got to play Cincy at home and then at Rutgers to end the season. Rutgers also 6-0. These two teams could be in the discussion if they could move up. Louisville is 16 and Rutgers is 19, so both have a lot of work left. You never know. They’re both pretty solid football teams. Would like to see them play some of the big boys to see how they could do.

Big winners in the NFL yesterday were the Giants and the Packers. if you look at my top seven quarterbacks’ list, I’ve moved Eli up to three. He’s a total winner. Aaron Rodgers was awesome last night against the Texans. I was never drinking the Houston Kool-Aid because they hadn’t played anybody that great until the Packers last night and ARodge and the Pack just went off against them. Giants blasted the Niners yesterday and made them look pretty average. Ruseell Wilson and the Seahawks knocked off the Patriots and RG III had a big days for the Redskins. A 76-yard run to win the game? Are you kiddin’ me? Wow, he’s exciting. It’s been an electric year in the NFL so far and it’s only going to get better. Still like the Chicago Bears, the Giants, the Packers and the Falcons in the NFC. Liked the Niners, but Alex Smith looked inept out there yesterday at quarterback. The Niners wanted to bring in Peyton this year to be their quarterback, but Peyton declined and picked the Broncos. I have a feeling Peyton didn’t love Jim Harbaugh and the Niners. Not his type of team. The Niners are stuck with Alex Smith and that may be their downfall. Not giving up on Drew just yet. They’ll probably have to get in as a wild card. Falcons don’t look like they’re coming back to the pack. In the AFC, still like the Patriots with the Ravens in the hunt. A lot of teams in the hunt in the AFC. Broncos and Peyton not out of it. In a huge game with the Chargers tonight on Monday Night Football (7:30 CT on ESPN). Chargers with a shot to make it in the AFC. Ravens lucked out against the Cowboys yesterday. Tony Romo played a terrific game and the Cowboys should have won. Their kicker missed a 51-yarder that would have won the game at the end. That certainly isn’t an automatic kick, but one a pro kicker can make. Also, Dez Bryant let his team down again by dropping a game tying two-point pass from  Romo at the end. The Cowboys did recover the onside kick, but the kicker missed the field goal. Tough one for Jerry’s boys.

Here’s the schedule this weekend in the SEC (All times CT):

LSU @ Texas A&M 11 AM , ESPN

Auburn @ Vandy, 11:21 AM, SEC Network (Channel 21, B’ham)

South Carolina @Florida, 2:30 PM, CBS

Alabama @ Tennessee, 6 PM, ESPN

Georgia @ Kentucky, 6 PM, Fox Sports South

Middle Tennessee @ Miss. State, 6 PM, ESPN2